Before I became a mother, I thought I would be like a fish in water when it came to parenting. But the long days and unexpected sorrows of motherhood have often left me floundering, feeling lost and inadequate. More than that, many days of motherhood have felt void of joy. These feelings of dashed hopes and uncomfortability are par for the course in the Christian life, but I didn’t plan to feel so discontent. In some way or another, you have probably felt this lack of joy too. Whether it’s a life-changing diagnosis or a Chick-fil-A closure on Sunday, life is full of disappointment.
I have a friend who is older and much wiser than me. Her family has experienced intense suffering through cancer, brain tumors, and a myriad of other life-threatening health conditions. My suffering seems like child’s play to what she has endured. But she is kind and hears my hardship with a heart of tenderness. A few months ago she said something that has rattled around in my mind ever since.
She said that it was easier to cling to Christ and have joy in the major sufferings of her life than in the mundane, regular moments of motherhood.
It’s profound. A biblical theology of suffering should prepare our hearts for deep suffering—persecution, death, health issues, loss, broken relationships, and more—but my theology of suffering and my theology of joy did not prepare me for the ways my heart would groan from the regular, everyday things. I didn’t expect to have such disappointment in the constant dishes, dirty diapers, and never-ending loads of laundry. This idea applies across seasons of life and professions. Creation groans—we all groan!—at what is considered normal life in a broken world. Cars break down, the power goes out, we drop our coffee on the way to work. Although I’d like to say my response to these small troubles would be one of continuous rejoicing and trust in the Lord, my heart is usually not joyous at the prospect of paying an ever increasing gas bill.
Our lives may not contain a flood of stressors, but they all contain some sort of dripping. That’s why it’s so important that we do the hard work of understanding what it means to be content and to have immovable joy whether our spouse has cancer or our kids left their bikes in the middle of the driveway again. We may be spiritually prepared for the flood of suffering, but are we prepared for the drip? The drip has the ability to erode our joy just as much as the flood does. It may take longer, but the resulting damage still ends with discontentment. How do we prepare for the drip? How can we be beacons of joy in a life that can seem bent on keeping us from rejoicing?
JOY BEGINS WITH CONTENTMENT
To pursue godly joy, we must start with a good definition of contentment. We need to understand what we’re pursuing before we set out on the path to obtain it. Jeremiah Burroughs describes contentment as “the inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, freely submitting to and taking pleasure in God’s disposal in every condition.” I have found that much of my grumbling and joylessness comes from my fighting and thrashing against what God has deemed good for me. Rather than submitting to the gracious will of our Father, I strive against His hand of grace and try to plow my own path. But as Burroughs suggests, true contentment is a frame of spirit that welcomes whatever God has ordained. Charles Spurgeon said it this way, “I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” Spurgeon’s heart posture is one that welcomes whatever God ordains for the purpose of drawing us closer to Him. The first step to having joy in everyday life is to freely submit to whatever God has for your good and His glory.
But Burroughs was not satisfied with a definition that only included free submission to God’s will. A free submission to God’s will could give us the opportunity to feel like we are victims of our circumstances, but a heart that takes pleasure in God’s will is one that exemplifies Christian joy. Our contentment finds its fullness in the pleasure we obtain from God’s perfect will. Imagine how our hearts would rejoice if we welcomed every hardship or inconvenience with a posture of submission and of pleasure. With this understanding of contentment and joy, we see the possibility for joy in every circumstance.
This sort of trust in the will of God is wholly contingent upon His character. Because God is loving, perfect, sovereign, and concerned with His own glory, His active role in our lives gives us the foundation for our joy. When we don’t have joy, we need only meditate on our Lord and be renewed once again to embrace freely and with pleasure what He places before us. He who is in control of our futures ensures our highest good and His highest glory. He is worth trusting and that alone is reason to rejoice.
Burroughs finishes his definition with this small phrase, “in every condition.” This may be the hardest aspect of having unwavering joy. Our condition often directly impacts how we feel and our emotions can shake the way we understand our joy. That is why we must remember that joy is not based on how we feel; it is based on the sureness of our Savior. Paul says in Philippians 4:11-13 that he has learned to be content in every circumstance, meaning it is possible to have joy no matter what we are enduring. Joy is not a feeling. It is a gracious frame of spirit. It is the resolve or commitment that does not falter in the face of things that don’t make us feel happy or fulfilled. Christian joy is something that cannot be stripped from our hands. We can experience discouragement, hardship, sadness, and pestilence, but our joy is not contingent upon our circumstances. Our joy cannot be stolen from us. It is available every moment of the Christian life because we have an eternal King who reigns and He is for us.
So why spend so much time on a definition? Because this is how humans are hard-wired—our minds impact our affections which then impact our will. In other words, what we know informs what we love, which causes us to act. True affection for Christ and an understanding of the joy we have in Him affects every facet of our lives. But I’d like to put forth just three ways we can exercise the joy we now know is immovable.
EXCERCISES OF JOY
First, true joy keeps us content with an ordinary life. The concept of “an ordinary life” has become more popular in Christian circles in the last few years. The Apostle Paul even speaks to this in passages like 1 Thessalonians 4:11. In the United States especially, the ideas of the American dream, fame, fortune, and notoriety are so prevalent. Our lives are permeated by an expectation that we should maximize our potential and become movie stars, athletes, influencers, lawyers, doctors, and more. Part of the reason we struggle with contentment is this mentality. True joy freely welcomes the ordinary facets of a life that may never include fame, fortune, or influence. An ordinary life of a regular job, church service, a small home, and an old beater car becomes not just tolerable but a ripe harvest for ministry, discipleship, and joy when we are occupied with Christ.
Second, true joy is the antithesis of grumbling. If our hearts are filled up with the unchanging grace of the Lord in a way that reflects through our joy, we cannot help but rejoice in whatever comes our way. We may feel sad or angry, but our frame of spirit keeps us from cursing God or our circumstances. Instead, we do as Spurgeon says, we kiss the wave.
Finally, true joy makes us immovable Christians. We cannot be stripped of our joy. When we live in the frame of spirit that focuses on the joy of Christ, then we cannot be moved. We are not shaken by the crumbling of our world. We do not lose hope in the face of death and loss. Our joy abounds.
The flood of intense suffering is a reality of the Christian life, but so are the things that grind our gears. The small things constitute the steady drip that could erode us into discontentment. The way to catch that drip and have consistent and full biblical joy in our lives is by clinging tightly to our sovereign God, and with a gracious frame of spirit, freely welcoming with pleasure all that He has perfectly ordained for us.
Haylee Williams | Haylee is a wife, mother of two, and author of God of Forever. She is currently pursuing her M.Div. at Midwestern Seminary.
